Recently, my son has started complaining that his backpack is too heavy and that having to carry it around at school is making his neck hurt.
So, during his 4th period class, his special ed teacher borrowed it, to see what was going on.
It turned out that one of the reasons why his backpack is so heavy is because he’s carrying around at least five hardbound books–three of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid persuasion and two library books.
Me: Son, why are there five books in your backpack?
Son: I don’t know. Because I like books?
Me: Well, we’re going to take all but one of those books out of your bag so it’s not quite so heavy, OK? You can have ONE book at a time. ONE. Uno. SINGULAR.
Son: No. I like books. I want them all in there.
Me: Well, here’s your choices, kiddo. You either pick ONE book or the secret ninja monkeys will come and take all the books out and choose for you. Got it?
Me: Yes. Seriously. Secret. Ninja. Monkeys.