It’s no secret that I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety since I was around ten years old and my first dose of prepubescent hormones hit me smack in the face with a great big “Screw you!”
For the last twenty seven and a half years, it’s been a struggle to fight the darkness with light. To find that one little spark that makes it OK to keep going for one more day.
For a long time, some of those little sparks that kept me going for one more day were Prince songs, especially “Little Red Corvette” and “Let’s Go Crazy”.
When I heard about his death a few days ago, I almost started crying. The older I get, the more artists, actors and musicians that I grew up with start to age and die off. It’s a natural progression, but it doesn’t make it suck any less.
They aren’t sure yet what killed His Purpleness…some say it’s a drug overdose. Some think he committed suicide..which I don’t believe personally. Most of the people I talk to seem to think, however, he died from complications brought on by the illness that caused him to detour his plane somewhere in Iowa a couple of weeks ago. Which is probably the right answer, but they haven’t released the ME’s report yet so it’s all just speculation at this point.
Some days it’s hard to fight the darkness with little sparks of light. But that’s all I’ve got. I don’t have a big shining bonfire. I have tiny little sparks that light up the darkness like fireflies glowing on a summer’s night.
And it’s a mighty big darkness out there.