This is why I wish I could go be a hermit in the woods

I remembered today why I don’t like or trust about 99% of people.

The first week back at school is always rough on EVERYBODY. My boss is so stressed out from the crap that’s coming from her higher ups that she’s taking it out on the rest of us. Yesterday, she was really on my butt my entire shift and at one point, I muttered that I wish she’d go back in her office and leave me the heck alone.

Well, N (one of my coworkers) overheard me and I guess she said something to my boss about how she (my boss) was harrassing me needlessly and I needed to be left alone to just do my job.

Which ended up with ME in hot water this morning when I got to work.

So now I feel like when I’m at work I can’t talk to any of my coworkers, especially N, without worrying they’re going to the boss behind my back and tell tales on me. And I hate that. I really, really hate that.

I don’t know what to do.I told my boss I was doing the best I could, trying to shove all of the things I was assigned to do in the short period of time I have to actually do them. She kept reiterating that I have SEVEN WHOLE HOURS to do everything..when in reality I have about half that time because the other half is taken up with serving the kiddos. I told her if she feels, in a month, that I’m not doing as well as I should be then she should go ahead and reduce my hours (and thus the amount of things I have to get done) and hire another person to take over the things I won’t be doing anymore. Which is totally FINE by me. I don’t even care at this point. It’s only been a week and I’m already super stressed out to the point I can’t sleep and have done nothing but binge eat all week long.

I don’t know what to do. If I don’t smile and make small talk, then my coworkers are going to perceive me as a bitch. But I don’t WANT to have to smile and make idiotic small talk with people I no longer like as much as I once did because I”m afraid anything I say will be used against me. I hate this feeling..I really really do. But I don’t know what to do about it, frankly. I need the job and while the hours aren’t exactly the best, they don’t suck either and I have all school holidays off AND I get paid during the summer break. So I’m stuck.

Again.

I hate feeling stuck.

 

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