My body is NOT a wonderland

So I finally was able to put a name to a horribly annoying condition that only seems to happen randomly when I exercise.

 

Exercise-induced histamine reaction.

You know what that means in plain English? I AM ALLERGIC TO EXERCISING.

So what typically happens, is I will go out for a nice long walk so I can listen to an episode of Zombies, Run and all of a sudden my legs start to itch like they’re on fire. I will usually try to ignore the burning, itching pain that goes from my hips all the way down to my ankles but if I can’t, I will look for the nearest place with a public bathroom (or a handy place to squat in the bushes) so I can scratch until my legs are red and raw and sometimes bleeding from my attempt to get rid of the horrible itching feeling. But as soon as I get home, usually within 20 minutes or so, the itching feeling is totally gone and I’m left with legs that look like I let Freddy Krueger use for a sharpening block. This has happened, on and off for most of my adult life and while it’s never been life threatening, it certainly¬†really frigging annoying.

So I googled (because I didn’t know if there WAS an answer but if there was Google would find it for me) “Legs itching during exercise” and was rewarded with a plethora of sites giving me all the nasty details of how dangerous exercise-induced histamine reactions can be. Apparently, I get off light because I could be experiencing exercised-induced asthma (which can sometimes happen BECAUSE of the histamine reaction), hives or even *dundunduuuun* DEATH.

That’s right. Death. Proof positive RIGHT THERE ON THE INTERNET (where nothing is EVER wrong) that exercise could kill me.

If that’s not an excuse to get out of working out I don’t know what is.

“Sorry, Susan. I can’t go to Zumba with you tonight. It might KILL me. No, really.”

 

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