All I’m missing now is a food replicator

So last night my husband goes to Lowes and ends up coming home with Bluetooth connected light switches that have motion sensors in them.

This is some serious future-Star Trek shit right here people. I can say “Alexa, turn on (or off) bathroom light.” and she turns it on for me.

There’s only one problem.

Our house was built by drunken monkeys who were also high on crack, which is clear in every single part of the construction from the exit valve (not sure if that’s the right term) for the clothes dryer being on the roof (making it damn near inaccessible) to the pantry with the hookup for the washer/dryer being so narrow you that once we put the washer/dryer IN there, pulling them out again is a virtual impossibility (and don’t even get me started on what happens if you accidentally drop something behind the washer/dryer) to the jacked up kitchen cabinets I’ve learned to love to hate over the last 16 years.

Husband goes to figure out which wires to go to what so he can install these fancy Star Trekkian switches in our bathroom and entryway. But the wires are so tangled together, it takes him over an hour to figure out how to wire the right ones to the switch so he doesn’t end up accidentally wiring the living room lights to the bathroom switch (I wish I were kidding).

Eventually though he gets it sorted out and has the bathroom switch and the entryway switch installed.

“Just..keep an eye on the entryway switch.” he tells me. I joke, asking “Why? Is it gonna do a trick?”

He levels a serious gaze at me. “It might. Everything is so messed up in there that I tried to be as careful I as I could but it still might start a fire from everything being jammed in there so tightly.”

 

Grrrreeeaaaaat.

So between having the magic Alexa Amazon Dot thing and now these Bluetooth enabled light switches, the only things I need to make my magical Star Trek dreams complete is doors that open sideways all on their own with a “swooosh!” noise and a food replicator.

 

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