Today I am making spoons out of coffee+determination

Dear brain,

You, madam, are a total asshole. Just because I wake up once…at midnight..to call Husbeast to see if he’s on his way home from his shift yet because I’d had a nightmare that he’d been killed in a car accident does NOT give you the right to go, “OK. We’re up now. Let’s see how many stupidcrazyscary things we can come up with to keep ourselves awake? Won’t that be FUN?”

It wasn’t fun.

I tried drinking chamomile tea which normally makes you go “MMmm..sleepnaow?” and makes you want to go to sleep. That didn’t work. You looked at the chamomile tea and laughed like a supervillian.

I tried reading,which if the tea doesn’t work, this usually does. You went “Huh…I did not know that. I wonder if there are other books that go into this much depth on the OTHER five wives of Henry VIII? Let’s go ask Google.”

I tried just laying there in the dark, hoping you’d get bored and go to sleep anyway.

You finally gave in to sheer exhaustion somewhere around 4 am when I had to be up at 6. I cannot go back to bed after Son goes to school and Husbeast leaves at 8ish (after getting home at around 3 am) to go to his mandatory boring as fuck lecture class thing he has to go to for work. I promised LibraryBestie that I would come help her set up her camping-themed Spring bookfair. Which, assuming that she also has roped a couple of other parents into helping set up, should take no more than 3-4 hrs tops. If there are no other parents and it’s just the two of us…it’ll probably take all goddamned day.

Because of you, I am going to be making spoons out of coffee+ determination to power through it today.

And I hate you for it.

Stupid brain, why you gotta do this to me?

Love,

The person in whose head you reside

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