I normally wouldn’t post twice in one day…my life is just not that interesting.
But I got a kick in the teeth via private message on Reddit that I feel like I need to address here, since I cannot address it there.
You need to do one of two things:
- Stop humblebragging about your cruises, fancy vacuum, various electronic toys and ability to quit work at will.
- Stop bitching about paying for basic food staples for your child and skipping out on much-needed medical care for your entire family.
Your inability to budget is not actually anyone else’s problem. Your life would be a lot better if you ever delayed gratification for two seconds.
P.S. Anxiety is not the same thing as PTSD.
Let me address this point by point, because that’s really the only way I can do it. And I don’t know that I’ll address it well, since it kinda was like a kick in the mouth.
- Cruises–these are the vacations we go on at least once a year, several times a year if we can afford it. We do it because it’s cheaper than most land based vacations we’ve ever taken and we like doing it.
1A. Fancy Vacuum–here they’re referring to the Dyson stick vac my husband bought me that WAS ON FRIGGING CLEARANCE. It retails for between $200 and around $400, but he got it for way, way less than that. Closer to $100. Again..BECAUSE IT WAS ON FRIGGING CLEARANCE. I wouldn’t have bought it (or asked him to buy it) if it wasn’t on clearance and for the record, I LOVE my Dyson stick vac. I can vac the entire house (most of which is tile or hardwood laminate) with this thing.
1B Various electronic toys–Yes my husband bought a XBox after Christmas. I wasn’t very happy about it, to be honest, but it’s here and we’re kind of stuck with it. He’s also bought, in the last month or so, two Amazon Echo Dots to the price of about $35ish each (with his discount) as well as an Amazon Fire stick which is more than we typically spend on electronics in TWO YEARS if you add the price of the XBox, the two Echo Dots, the Fire stick and the Dyson. Seriously. The last time we bought a “major electronic” was two years ago when we purchased a pair of new Blu-Ray players to replace our dying DVD players.
1C Quitting work at will–Yes I quit my job. Yes I’m grateful that we can afford, just barely, for me not to work right now. I didn’t quit because I felt like it. I did it because I suffer from depression and anxiety, both of which were ramping up this past fall to the point that I was unable to work anymore on anything like a constant basis. I’ve slowly, over the last few months been getting better but I’m still really fucking struggling. I feel like the person who attacked me (and has sent me another attack private message) doesn’t get this and I haven’t explained/defended myself to them because I don’t want to egg them on.
2. Bitching about paying for food staples–this morning I posted about how much milk my son is going through and how expensive it is. Milk is not cheap, especially when you’re going through 10-12 gallons every freaking week (if not more). Apparently, I offended somebody.
2A Bitching about the cost of medical care–Medical care in this country is ridiculously expensive. Right now, our insurance deductible is so high (and has been for years now) that we don’t go to the doctor unless we’re bleeding out the eyes or are so sick that we can’t function. We do our best to let the doc in the box at the CVS handle everything because it’s cheaper than going to an actual doctor. The same for dental care…we only get a small amount (less than $1000 per person, excluding routine cleanings) to deal with whatever dental issues we’ve got going on. Personally, I have a crapton going on in my mouth and it’s taken several YEARS to get to this point where I’m MOSTLY not in pain all the time because we just could not afford to get everything fixed in anything like a quick manner.
3. Our ability (or perceived inability) to budget–Overall, we generally do a good job of budgeting our money. The bills get paid and we try to save a little bit with whatever is left over. Husband has a 401K that he puts money into every month and except for our cars and our house, we’re not in any debt. Yes, we have credit cards (but who doesn’t?) but we seriously try not to use them because it’s just too expensive to do so.
4. Delayed gratification–This one hurt pretty bad since it’s the least true statement they made. We don’t buy clothes often. We don’t go out to eat often or to the movies or do anything that costs ANYTHING very often. The most we ever spend all frigging year is when we go on vacation and at Christmas. So I feel like I’m being attacked for things that I don’t even DO. Do we have Netflix and Amazon Prime and Hulu? Yes. Yes we do. But that’s still cheaper (per year anyway) than cable.
5. Anxiety vs PTSD–Unfortunately, I have both and I KNOW that anxiety and PTSD are NOT the same thing. They’re like two branches on the shittiest tree ever, really. I cannot help that I have both Anxiety and PTSD nor can I help what my specific triggers are that send me spiralling down into a puddle of tears and snot and shaking all over like a dog that is scared you’re going to beat it again for something it doesn’t understand. I do my best to deal on a daily basis with the fact that I have both of these conditions, which are not anywhere NEAR easy to live with. I wish they were. I wish Anxiety and PTSD were more like Rainbow Unicorn Fart Disease and Happy Kitten Sunshine Time Disease. THOSE would be easy to live with. Or easier anyway..at least till your house was filled with sparkly rainbow unicorn farts and way too many kittens.
I thought the subreddit where I’ve been doing most of my posting was a safe space where other people like me could relax, let down their hair and bitch (or brag as the case may be) a little. Being attacked because of what I posted in what I felt like was a safe space kind of has made me a little tremble-y and nervous now. I PM’d the subreddit mobs and I think I’m going to take a little break from that particular subreddit. Because maybe I AM annoying people and, in my typically clueless bull in a china shop fashion, I’m just totally oblivious. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. I thought I did..but clearly I don’t.