Happy Father’s Day and other things

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!

 

In other news, I am thinking of going to password-protected entries only. Some things have happened recently (as in the last 24 hrs) that have really shaken me up. I don’t know who to believe and who to trust.

So I’m considering (haven’t made up my mind yet) about going to password-only entries. If I trust you–which I really shouldn’t, because I’ve learned the hard way..AGAIN..that if you trust someone they’re just going to turn around and bite you in the ass–you’ll have the password. It sucks that it’s come to this. And really, I probably only have myself to blame for thinking I could let my guard down and trust people. I should have known better, since I learned this same lesson growing up. You don’t trust anybody, even your family, because the minute you really let your guard down, they’re going to turn around and use the information they’ve gained to screw you over and hurt you. And that really hurts. Eventually, you probably end up like me..not exactly paranoid, but just super cautious and wary. Which is why IRL I don’t have friends. Or not many, really. Because I don’t trust anybody not to hurt me.

I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I really do. Because it kind of sucks.

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6 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day and other things

  1. As Sonja said, ‘you do what you need to in order to look after yourself’. Please know that you also have my support.

    I come from a very toxic family and, even though I should have learned not to trust them while growing up, I kept on hoping that things would be different the ‘next time’. Only it never was. Fast forward to my twenties, when the few people/friends I let in to my life turned around and did the very same things to me as my family had. So many people over the years have taken advantage of me and of my vulnerability that it’s a wonder I have any trust left in me at all.

    It wasn’t until I hit my 40s did I realize that my definition of family didn’t have to fit what others expected, especially society’s white picketed fence moronic view, that I could make my own definition of what family meant to me. Also, after I was diagnosed with MS fifteen years ago, I learned very quickly who my friends were and weren’t. It was after that life lesson that I decided to build my own support group and surround myself with people who would only build me up and not tear me down. It’s a small group but I like it that way because I now know whom I can trust with utmost certainty to not hurt me. That group Includes my husband (my second) and my three sons. I have about two close friends whom I trust but still not with everything, mind you. I know that I can never ever let another friend in that closely to me again. I must always be guarded in order to survive.

    The person who wrote the negative comment on my blog that you so kindly commented on and shared your story with me was my uncle. He is my last surviving uncle on both sides of my family. I idolized him growing up because he was fun, kind, and loved me to unconditionally. Or so I thought. He has become a bitter, selfish, and hateful person as he has aged and he has been trying to tear me down for over twenty years now. I think most of it has to do with jealousy and the fact that I won’t ever be like him and that side of my family.

    Some people are capable of such indescribable cruelty and hatred towards others that it is mind boggling. While it is painful and hurts us immeasurably, it says more about them than it does about us. Hang in there and do what you have to do for you. You matter. You are important to so many of us without even realizing it. I know it may sound empty coming from a total stranger but I want you to know that you have a friend in me.

    Hugs,
    Linda 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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