5 Things I Want You To Know That You May Not Have Known About Me Already

  1. This will fall under the category of “Stuff you PROBABLY already know about me” but I’m telling you anyway just because I love you. ❤ I am a Trekkie…forever and ever amen. In fact, I sometimes tell people I was born to be one, since my father ran out of the delivery room to catch a TOS re-run on the crappy TV in the waiting room. I wish I were kidding, but I so am not. After the divorce, we sometimes spent weekends or periods of time during the summer or other school breaks at whatever house or apartment he was renting at the time doing a whole lotta nothing while he was at work. Yes, my sister and I were left on our own, but in those days (those days being the late 80s through about the mid 90s) it was not considered a crime to leave your kids at home by themselves for hours at a time once they reached about the age of 10 or 11. My father sometimes had a TV but not always so we were responsible for entertaining ourselves since we weren’t really supposed to go outside. I ended up reading. A LOT. Sometimes I would read books that I’d brought but more often than not, I’d read whatever battered TOS novels he had laying around. Then in about 5th grade, when I was 9 or so, TNG first aired. And I was hooked like a fish with $50 bait (I don’t actually know if bait sells for $50 or what kind of bait $50 bait would be but, just go with me here ok?). On screen was a tall, dashing man with sparkling eyes and an accent that made my knees go weak. If you’re thinking I’m referring to the very tall, very manly and SO unbearded (at least during the first season) Jonathan Frakes, then you are so very wrong-o. In fact, it was Sir Patrick Stewart as Captain (and in my head, I’m saying this in the Frenchiest French accent I can muster) Jean-Luc Picard. I’ve always had a thng for British accents and 9 yr old me fell head over heels in love with him. I’d go on any ride he wanted to take me on. S’matter of fact, I still would. Me, him and Michael Caine (who happens to be one of my OTHER favorite British actors). Star Trek has been part of my life right from the beginning and I can’t ever imagine a time when I won’t, in all the crazy reboot incarnations, love every single stupid minute of it. Well..except Enterprise, which I couldn’t stomach past about the second season and I keep telling myself I NEED to give it a second chance.

2. I like spicy food..because I was pregnant.

Before I got pregnant, I was kinda ‘meh’ on spicy food…I didn’t hate it but I didn’t love it either. However, during my pregnancy, nearly every single day that I was working, I would order the cooks to make me what we called a poor man sandwich or sometimes the poor man’s special. Basically, it was two pieces of toast (costing all of 50 cents) with mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickle and jalapeno (which were all condiments and thus free). I would eat two or three of those before I started my shift because my boss pretty much ignored my doctor’s note that said I was to have breaks every four hours or so so I could eat. That man (my boss, not my doctor) was a total jerk. I would stuff myself almost to the point of puking with poor man sandwiches because they were cheap and filling in the hopes of making it through the next eight or ten hours without so much as a frigging bathroom break. (Did I say my boss was a jerk? Yeah. Jerk doesn’t quite go far enough in covering his amount of dirtbaggery.)

Now, the spicier it is, the better I like it. I don’t know what happened or why my taste buds suddenly went “Hey. Spicy food isn’t so bad.”. But I’m kind of glad the shift happened because there is so much amazing spicy food out there to be enjoyed. Yes…even if steam is coming out of my ears, my face turns red and my eyes water.

3. I once lied to my mother about going to a Baptist tent revival.

My mother, bless her heart, has always been pretty strictly religious and most rock music was pretty much right out. Devil’s music. Not allowed. When I was 18 and still living at home, a friend of mine from college offered me a ticket to a Stone Temple Pilots concert because she’d bought two and the friend who was supposed to go with her had backed out. I only sort of knew who Stone Temple Pilots were but I didn’t really care. I thought it would just be cool to go see a concert. But knowing my mother’s feelings on rock music, I knew if I’d told her I was going to a concert she would have NEVER let me go. So instead, I lied and told her I was going to an all night Baptist tent revival with my friend. My cover was almost blown when my friend showed up wearing a tight, midriff baring crochet top, skin tight jeans and glitter on ever inch of exposed skin and I honestly do not remember what I told my mom about my friend’s attire. I’m pretty sure we just booked it out of there as fast as we could. My mom never asked me about the revival or who’d spoken or anything. I’m pretty sure she suspected something was up but just didn’t want to know exactly what kind of shenannigans her teenager daughter was getting into.

 

4. I once had an American flag with a giant Batman in the center of it. It hung over one of my bedroom windows in lieu of a curtain for years. We’d been on some road trip, like we usually took during the summer and I spotted it at some jacked up redneck roadside stand we stopped at to buy..IDK. Something. Probably snacks or drinks or something. I don’t remember asking if I could buy it..I just did. I figured it was my money so why shouldn’t I totally waste it on something completely useless and totally stupid? I’d seen the Batman movie with Michael Keaton, read the novelization of the movie about a thousand times and probably listened to Prince’s “Batdance” at least that many times already. I wanted to be cool and this was going to be the coolest thing I possessed. Sadly, I cannot find a picture of a flag even remotely close to what I had anywhere online. Every search I try to do comes up with a flag with the Batsignal with American flag colors inside it, not the cool American flag with a giant imposing picture of Batman superimposed right in the middle of the flag. I don’t know what happened to it..I’m pretty sure my mom threw it out when she cleaned out my room a few years after I moved out. I wish she hadn’t..I kinda miss it and wish I still had it so I could hang it in my house over one of my windows like I did when I was a kid.

5.I don’t get freckles. Nope..I do not do not do not. Instead I get flat moles, like freckles on steroids. And I’ve got over 100 of them scattered all over my body and across my scalp and back. Which is a LOT of moles to keep track of in this day and age when every mole needs to have constant supervision in case it goes cancerous. I’ve even got a couple of ugly puffy moles on my back that are just plain ordinary moles. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people, random people off the street, come up and go “Uh..you have cancer on your back. Did you know that?” It gets tiresome, to be honest. It’s not cancer. I’ve had them checked. They are just ordinary moles and at some point, I’ll PROBABLY get them removed but most of the time I forget they’re even there unless somebody comes up to me and goes “Dude. You have CANCER on your BACK!”

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2 thoughts on “5 Things I Want You To Know That You May Not Have Known About Me Already

    1. Thank you. LOL I’ve always had a thing for older guys and if they have British accents, so much the better. When my friends had pictures of New Kids on The Block or Justin Timberlake on their wall, I had pictures of The Beatles. LOL

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