I’m not here

I had a whole entry written out, ready to publish but when I looked at it, proofreading before I hit the “Publish” button I stopped.

When I logged into my WordPress account a little while ago, I had a comment on one of my entries (I forget which one right now) that was very hurtful and mean. I read it, considered it for half a second and then deleted it.

Even though the words are long gone, they still hurt like an arrow to the chest.  I think I just need to disappear off this blog for awhile so I can..figure out how to be more like..well..not myself. Maybe if I tried harder at not being myself, at being the person these mean commenters (and it’s been the same person several times now but I always delete their comments because they’re so mean) think I should be they’d leave me alone.

That’s what my teachers in school used to say when I would get picked on and beat up. “You need to try harder to fit in. If you tried harder to fit in, they’d leave you alone.”



One thought on “I’m not here

  1. Always be yourself. Being different is what makes you interesting. If we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place indeed. I love your blog btw – always have done.


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