Thanks, kid

So over the weekend, my mother in law took my son shoe shopping and bought him some new socks which he needed anyway.

But of course, he couldn’t FIND his new socks in his sock-and-underwear-and pajama pants drawer.

“MOOOOM! I don’t have any socks! Can I wear my fuzzy socks instead?”

What? No. So of course I get up and go find his socks, which are of course buried under a mountain of clean underwear and other socks.

I shake my head. “Jesus Christ.” I mutter and then, seeing my son is standing practically on top of me. “I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t you say it either.” I have to watch my mouth and not just NOT cuss, but also not say things like “Oh my god.” because my son started saying them too and it was offensive to my mildly-religious mother in law and my very religious sister in law. My son gives me the stink eye. “No you SHOULD NOT have said that.”, very imperious like.

Thanks, kid.

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5 thoughts on “Thanks, kid

  1. It’s going to be hard when I have kids… the urge to drop F-bombs is strong, especially on Mondays. I’m pretty sure my future kids’ first words will be swear words. All of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve learned alternative cusses..like “Son of a biscuit eater” and “Flying fudge buckets” (that’s one of my son’s favorites, actually). You have to watch what music you listen to also. I learned that the hard way when he was like in first or second grade and told a kid on the playground “Don’t be a drag. Just be a queen!” Oooops!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My kids liked, “Slimy dog!” “Scurvy knave!” and “Suck my left toe” (instead of kiss my ass). My middle kid got in mild trouble when she told someone in her class to “Consume feces and expire.” She was in Middle School at the time, she knew what she was saying.

    Like

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