You Can’t Fix Stupid–One Bad Apple Ruins the Whole Bunch edition

OK, so I know I said I would do these on Friday, but I missed this last Friday because I was on vacation so I’m doing it now.

We love Carnival cruise lines, ok? Let me just say that right now. I am a full on, Kool Aid drinking, whale tail lovin’ Carnival cruiser for life. And I don’t know about other cruise lines, but Carnival has some really freaking AWESOME cruise directors.

Including this teeny weeny bit of yumminess..Steven Schwartz. He’s only about an inch or so taller than I am and I’m kind of on the short end of “average” at 5 ft 5.

OMG I could just eat him up with spoon. He’s even more delicious looking in person. 😀

Every Carnival cruise director has a thing, a catchphrase or a bit of schtick that they do that sets them apart and makes them memorable. Schwartz’s thing was saying “I love you. No, I love YOU more. No I love YOU more. OK, you win. But I love you MOST!” when he did shows or announcements or whatever. It was downright adorable to see and hear an entire ship full of people go “No I love YOU more!” at the PA system speakers whenever he said his bit at the end of the announcements he made about a thousand times a day.

Well, like everything else good, it just haaaaaaaaaad to get ruined by somebody who had their undies in a knot. When we sailed with him this last week, we noticed that he wasn’t saying it at all. And we went, “Huh. That’s weird.” but didn’t really think too much about it. B did ask him, when we ran into him in the dining room, why he wasn’t saying it. And he explained that about six months ago, somebody was offended by his “I love you” schtick and complained not just to guest services onboard ship but to corporate HQ back in Miami, who told him he couldn’t do it anymore.

And that was (aside from being hotter than an bowl of nacho cheese sauce with habanero chilis) what made him memorable.

I bet it was a dadgummed Platinum or Diamond level VIFP club member. The Platinums like to throw their weight around (well some of them, anyway) and act like their poo don’t stink just because they’ve spent enough money and enough days at sea (75) to qualify for a silver card. Woohoo. Good for you. (We are also about to be in that club, by the way.)

I don’t know who ruined it for everybody, but boo on you, whoever you are. Having the cruise director say “I love you. No I love YOU more. No I love YOU more. OK you win. But I love you MOST!” didn’t hurt you. It wasn’t done in a manner that was meant to be sexually harrassing (I should know. I’ve experienced it before). It was meant to be cutesy and maaaaaaaaaaybe the teeniest bit flirtatious and just plain fun. He wasn’t hitting on your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/whatever. I promise. He was just trying to make your cruise a little bit more memorable. Jiminiy Christmas,y’all.

Pass the tequila.


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