I’m giving myself permission today

It’s been a rough week for me, not being on my thyroid meds and with it being rainy and cold, my joints have just been hurting like crazy. I’ve struggled all week with pretty much everything–getting up in the morning, cleaning, doing dishes,doing laundry, cooking. It’s all just too damn much right now.

Fortunately, Soon To Be Ex Doctor decided it was OK after all for me to have 30 days more worth of meds, so I’m going to pick those up this afternoon (he called it in yesterday) and go to McDonald’s or something for dinner because I just am totally tapped out. Thursday night I got zero sleep because even though I was so exhausted I could barely function, I was also in so much pain that it made sleep almost impossible.

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Basically me right now

I’m supposed to be deep cleaning the house again today, because it really needs it and I haven’t kept up with anything this week. I normally scoop the cat boxes every other day and I didn’t do that. So those need to be taken care of. And there is a copious amount of laundry that needs to be folded as well as several loads that need to be washed.

But I am giving myself permission today to say “Screw this shit.” and just rest, working on finishing my shawl (it’s almost done! YAY!) and try to recover. I can clean tomorrow. I don’t want to, but I’m going to. Today is going to be about trying to summon up the energy I need to make it through next week which will hopefully be better once my meds kick in.

Giving myself permission to just take a fucking day off is the hardest thing for me to do. But right now, I am just too exhausted to function and since it’s rainy and cold, all I want to really do anyway is curl up in bed and watch The Road Warrior which I got last weekend and never watched because I was just too exhausted. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment coming up in a week and a half that I’m stressing about because I won’t actually be seeing a DOCTOR, just a “physician’s assistant” (whatever the hell THAT is).

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