I love my husband, y’all. I really REALLY love him.
Last night he showed me the receipt he’d printed out where it showed that he paid for me a year’s membership to the town rec center so I can use their gym. I’ve been grumping for a couple of weeks now that it had gotten too cold for me to go outside and hike (which it has and I hate being outside AT ALL in cold/wet weather. Just..nope.). Plus it gets dark so quickly this time of year that even if it were warm enough, I wouldn’t have enough time while it was still light after dinner. And it was making me super grumpy. Because there’s only so much I can do here at home inside the four walls of our house with only the Wii U, some Youtube videos and a creaky ancient exercise bike that lives in the garage which I hate because it’s old, doesn’t work well and it’s loud AF.
I’m going on Monday after the bus picks up J for school to get my new membership card and get a tour of the facilities.
I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY I CAN’T STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND IT!
::edit:: I wrote this last night before I tried to go to bed and had it scheduled to post this morning. This was before I had a full on panic attack because I haven’t set foot in a gym since before my wedding (which was nearly 20 years ago) and I’m terrified I’m going to
A)look like a total dork because I don’t know how any of the equipment works
B)try to use the treadmill, fall off and get hurt
C) get laughed at by the gym rats who practically live there because it’s extremely obvious I don’t even lift, bro. Except if lifting my fork to my mouth counts. Which it most certainly does not.
I eventually was able to calm down enough to fall asleep but when I got up this morning, my brain went right back into panic attack mode and I’ve been having a low level panic attack all freaking morning.
I hate my brain. I hate that this thing that makes me so damn happy is also terrifying the shit out of me. WHY DO YOU DO THIS, BRAIN? WHHHHHHHHHY?