So last year, one of the books I read was Tomi Adyemi’s African-infused magical fantasy, Children of Blood and Bone. And I fucking LOVED it..it’s like The Lord of the Rings meets Harry Potter and Black Panther.
One of the things I liked most about it was the giant cats–lionaires, leopardaires and panthaires (maybe it was pantheraires, I forget). These were like the big cats we know today–lions, panthers, leopards, etc but they were HUGE. Like.. draft-horse sized. Big enough to ride on. Draft horses (particularly Clydesdales) can measure up to 76 inches (6 ft 3 inches or so) at the shoulder. Can you imagine a 5 to 6 foot tall lion or tiger? I mean, c’mon..how awesome would that be to have as a pet?
I realize that it would also be a tremendous mess–both in terms of clean up (I have two average sized house cats and they make what seems like a tremendous amount of bodily waste) and in terms of feeding them, since like all cats, lions et al are obligate carnivores (which means they have to have meat and ONLY meat or they won’t do too well and I’m pretty sure that the bags of Purina Lion Chow that I saw in Secondhand Lions doesn’t actually exist).
I still kind of want one though. Somebody needs to get on this. Like..yesterday. Because we need giant lions (that are also more domesticate-able or at least less “I want to eat your face off”-y than lions are now) I think.
Of course, idiots would ruin the whole thing by having genetically modified “designer lions” (just look at what they’ve done with dogs, after all) who they don’t take care of properly, don’t train and which would end up running amok and eating people or their precious snookie wookums….er I mean..schnapoodlegleoxer mix.
I still want one though.
Photo courtesy of the Daily Star (U.K.)