So how’s YOUR morning going?

My son has entered that phase where he’d rather be bathed in acid than take an actual shower.

So this morning, I sat outside the bathroom and set a timer on the Alexa to make sure he actually stayed in the shower for more than 30 seconds. Because if I didn’t, he would’ve let the water run for approximately 30 seconds, thinking that having three whole drops touch his skin constitutes as a shower. Which it does not…especially when you’re a 15 year old boy (well..almost. His birthday is in 2 months. Close enough.) who smells like he rolled in the contents of a particularly nasty garbage bag at the dump.

I could hear him through the door, ranting and raving about how I’m mean, I’m a bully, this is stupid, he doesn’t care if he’s smelly, I’m OMG SO FREAKING MEAN and this is toooooooooooooooooorture. I just sat on the bed and shook my head.

It took all the strength I had not to burst out laughing, too.

He came out of the bathroom, actually dripping wet for a change, wrapped in a towel. “Are you freaking SATISFIED now?”

“Yup. Just don’t forget to put on deodorant.”

Cue more muttering and groaning because OMG that’s SO hard.

Teenagers…can’t live with ’em. Can’t legally shoot ’em either.

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6 thoughts on “So how’s YOUR morning going?

  1. You’re fighting the good fight there! Some men and boys have the ability to exist in a level of filth that defies my own imagination, even.

    My ex-husband was 32 years old and he still took what I called “The Water Shower” unless I stood in the bathroom and handed him the soap and watched him use it. Otherwise, he would just stand under the water, no soap, no shampoo, for thirty seconds and then dry off.

    And he was an auto mechanic, too. Our bed sheets were always completely gray on his side because he went to bed so filthy.

    Did I mention he’s the ex? 😉

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      1. Maybe it’s like how male cats have to mark their territory in the stinkiest way possible, and having a full body perma-stink just marks their territory everywhere they go!

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  2. OMG that is hysterical!!!! I can’t imagine why boys don’t want to wash! Surely they can’t get a girlfriend (or boyfriend if that’s their preference) without smelling good????

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