Stepping away and turtling for a bit

Oh god, y’all. This turned into more of an accidental shit show than I ever intended. It’s not you…I swear it’s not you. I’m afraid I offended my donors who were gracious enough to donate to me by having to return their money  because I apparently have issues with PayPal. Which I  should have expected, honestly, since I cancelled my original PayPal account YEARS ago because I was having issues with them that apparently they haven’t fixed in all that time. Or they have a grudge against me. Probably the former, not the latter. But who knows. I sure don’t.

I feel like such an asshole right now y’all and (’s really not you it’s totally me and my screwed up brain) I’m feeling my anxiety starting to spiral out of control the way it usually does when something I tried to do that I’m not very familiar with goes horribly, disgustingly, amazingly, it could only go this wrong because I was the one doing it wrong. I’m very good at failing in ways that are so bad, I even amaze myself at how bad I am at doing things a lot of the time.

So for the time being, because this has (at least over the last 24 hrs or so) become more anxiety inducing than fun, I’m going to step away and just go turtle for a bit until my anxiety calms the heck down.

I can never apologize for screwing up the way I did, y’all. I just CAN’T. I hurt people’s feelings and that’s going to be bothering me for awhile now. Hurting people’s feelings, especially when they were just trying to do a GOOD thing for you, is the WORST.

I recognize that y’all were only trying to help, which I appreciate, but I screwed it up on my end. This is ALL my stupid fault and I cannot apologize enough. I really can’t. I’m not going to try to make it worse, either, by trying to find a way around it (and the previous way around it I mentioned before? Pretend I never said it.) right now.



4 thoughts on “Stepping away and turtling for a bit

  1. I am laughing out loud and I have an uncontrollable urge to lunge through the screen and give you a bear hug. I wasn’t offended in the slightest and I would never blame you for PayPal being a dick. I promise, I am good and I hope your anxiety levels decrease soon. I am sure all of us here in blog-land feel the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is my first time here, so I guess it goes without saying that I am not the least bit offended or ticked or whatever. In fact I have no idea what’s going on. But since I just found you . . . I look forward to your return.


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